Is your team having the open and honest conversations about what really matters?
The all-hands team meeting has gone relatively well, all things considered.
The technology worked without too much trauma so everyone around the world was able to take part. We got through a bit more of the agenda than usual and there was a nice bit of banter…it is a nice group. And if we achieve even half of the actions that have been discussed and agreed to, we’ll be on track to achieve our KPIs.
Yet, as the team’s Leader, there is a niggling doubt. We were discussing important issues for sure but was there an unspoken duplicity to avoid talking about the really tough issues? Were we so busy being team spirited and ‘nice’ to each other that we held back from saying what we really think? Are we lacking the grit in the dialogue needed to create the pearls?
Having the right conversations about the real issues
As the old command-and-control environment has become eclipsed by changes that promote cross-functional teamwork and global employee engagement, dictating a plan and issuing marching orders has given way to a more collaborative setting that requires more interaction, more dialogue. But are people still shying away from having the conversations that result in truly game-changing outcomes?
Aristotle defined the roots of all language to be:
- Logos: logic, thought and learning
- Ethos: values, meaning and hope
- Pathos: heart, compassion and empathy
These ‘roots’ will have been evident in any of your most recent team meetings. The key question is the extent to which these distinct but harmonised elements are reflected in your leadership of such meetings and, specifically, whether the approach you took ensured that the team was having the right discussions, at the right time and in the right spirit about the right issues.
Language is not only expressed in the articulation that is prompted by discussion but also in the implied messages that are present in everything that is said (and not said), in the tone and inflection of voice, and in the body language of participants.
So, how skilful are you are at reaching beyond the rational dialogue that is driving discussions to read the emotional dialogue that is driving results?
- Listen for the silence
We had a long-standing relationship with this client and liked to consider ourselves to be a trusted partner. I perceived that we had a full and thorough understanding of their needs and I was excited to put forward an innovative programme to address these.
Our sponsors were happy with our proposals and we moved forward to securing final approval from the organisation’s wider leadership team. The presentation of our programme went smoothly and our proposals were being met with endorsement from the functional leads around the table.
As I was preparing to wrap-up, the CEO leant forward and reached out to a team member who had remained quiet and more reflective throughout the meeting to ask for his view. It became clear that he had major reservations about the approach and timing being proposed due to wider global sensitivities, and the project shuddered to a halt.
Not a great result for Mansfield Buchanan in the short-term but the right outcome for my client and an inspiring example of a Leader who had heard the silence and a sharp reminder to me of the need to do the same.
- Make it safe to talk about the tough issues
‘Tough’ discussions are often relegated to Team Off-Site events where it is hoped that, with nice surroundings, good food and assertive facilitation, a successful discussion will ensue without too much personal collateral damage.
Yet the high performance teams we meet do it differently. They recognise that the discussions that are the toughest are those that relate to issues that strike at the heart of our own vulnerabilities. They understand that our default is to shy away from discussions that put our job, our behaviours and our value under scrutiny.
And these teams respond to this very human hurdle by putting VALUE at the core of the approach that they take:
- Customer Value: KPIs are ruthlessly aligned to customer need and adding value
- Team Values: the shared ethos within the team infuses attitudes and behaviours
- Personal Value: individual value is recognised, applauded and optimised.
By placing the emphasis on value, they neatly reframe the issues and side-step the tension that arises between business and personal priorities.
What works for you?
Use your next team meeting to do things differently. Actively observe the emotional dynamic. What is not being said? What underlying messages are being conveyed by people’s body language? What underlying message is being conveyed by your body language?
Read ‘Crucial Conversations’
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron Mcmillan and Al Switzler
Transform how you communicate when the stakes are high by reading this amazing book. It gives practical ways to use the energy of anger and hurt to have the powerful dialogue that makes it safe to talk about almost anything. It helps Leaders be persuasive, not abrasive and the creative ideas put forward by the authors resonate with challenges that we face in all aspects of our lives.
Join us for our next eMasterclass: ‘The Mighty Power of Small’
In the 3rd and final webinar in our series of eMasterclasses we probe how the vocabulary associated with today’s Language of Leadership has had to adapt with the mightiest impact arising from the smallest words.
This article has been written by: Annalise Cowley, Director of Mansfield Buchaanan
An experienced Consultant and qualified Coach, Annalise works exclusively with LifeSciences clients worldwide to help Leaders and their teams to use insight into what people need and value to deliver the business results that matter.